Beyond Whips & Chains – American Medical Student Association

Beyond Whips & Chains – American Medical Student Association…/BeyondWhipsAndChains.sflb.ashx

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BDSM”: • This is a combination acronym that stands for. – Bondage & Discipline (B/D). – Dominance Generally during BDSM interactions one person is

AMSA by the way is doing a nice job of educating medical students in human sexuality topics because so many medical schools still lack adequate instruction.   it is called the Sexual Health Scholars Program.


“Deep Inside”: A study of 10,000 adult film stars (9 Photos)

Article found here


Sex Keywords Galore!

Here is a huge list of keywords I use for KinkAcademy and PassionateU and thought it might be helpful for others!


Lube & Lubrication

lube, lubrication, masturbation, handjob, hand job, spit, slick, anal sex, dry, wet, liquid silk, KY jelly, astroglide, vagina, probe, vagina, anus, flavored lube, maxim, sextoys, sex toys, sex toys, sex toy,

slippery, condom, condoms, glycerin, yeast, paraffin free, lubricant, water-based lubes, silicon-based lubes, lick, cream-based lube, drippy, drip, hydro-smooth, maximus, gel-based lubes, oh my, glycerin-free, flavored lubes

jelly, juice, wank, spit, oil, lubricunt , vegetables

Introduction to Sex Toys

sex, dildo, vibrator, toys, dildos, anal, penis, orgasm, vibrators, vagina, sex toy, lesbians, masturbation, cock, pussy, cilt, clitoris, cunt, plastic, sex aids, vegetables, porno, strap on, positions, intercourse, jizz, fuck, orgasm, condom, toys, toy, pleasure, tease, vibrate, bullet, wand, rabbit, foreplay, sexual health

insertion, jelly latex, glass, Pyrex, hard plastic, flesh-light, flesh light, silicone, the cone, steel,

jelly latex, soft, cheap, materials, cyberskin, non-toxic, nontoxic, safe, nonporous, hard plastic, vinyl, aluminum, metal grade plastics, stainless steel, body-friendly, medically safe,

sex toys, sex toy, sextoys, sextoy, masturbation, hitachi, vagina, anus, anal sex, fucking, rabbit, vibrator, vibrating, vibration, self love, shopping, buying, shop, buy, order, foreplay, vibe, humping

shop, store, wankers, video, bullet, wand, rabbit, luxury, glass, clamp, massage, suction, wireless, silicone, latex, rubber, allergy, hypoallergenic, sexual health, couples, cock ring, waterproof, kit, beads, personal,

buying, price, internal use, external use, bullet, randy, phthalate, phthalate free, visual appeal, animal-theme, internal play, internal play, slum line, cone, magic wand, quiet, internal use, external use, stroking, tickling, stimulation, stimulating, dual stimulation, vibration style, spice up sex life, orgasm, price, type of play, shopping

Dual stimulation, penetration, erectile dysfunction, reasons for sextoys, penetrative toys, stimulation, G-spot stimulation, prostate stimulation, acrylic, pyrex, curve, curved toys, dual ends, vagina, smart balls, bum, anus, anal play, mouth, oral play, dildo, suck on dildo, dildos, kegel exercises, silicon, taint, grundle, perineum, sterilize, sterilized, strap-free strap on, strap-free strap ons, strap on, deep throat, stainless steel, sensation play, hot, cold, speculum, phallic, price, how to use, function, material, aesthetic, aesthetics

Tickling Toys
head massager, scrap, tip, toes, digging it in, head band, hair holder, feather duster, pens, writing on the feet, pointy stick, drink stirrer, pointy things, fondue fork, plastic fork, pizza box stand,

comb, dog toys, baby oil, slippery, sliding, ky jelly, lubricants, gardening work gloves, gardening tools, back scratcher, toy sharks,

caress, contact, flick, glance, graze, kiss, scrape, shave, skim, smooth, stroke, sweep,

play, playful, fun, tickle, tickling, finger, fingers, touch, intimate, intimacy, laugh, light, feather, ticklee, tickler, sensual, sadistic,

wrestling, fingers, knees, toes, soles, touch, sensation, cockle, pain, feet, orgasm, victim, laugh, giggle, groping, twitching, squirming, tickle top, rubbing,


caress, contact, flick, glance, graze, kiss, scrape, shave, skim, smooth, stroke, sweep,

play, playful, fun, tickle, tickling, finger, fingers, touch, intimate, intimacy, laugh, light, feather, ticklee, tickler, sensual, sadistic,

wrestling, fingers, knees, toes, soles, touch, sensation, cockle, pain, feet, orgasm, victim, laugh, giggle, groping, twitching, squirming, tickle top, rubbing,

Introduction to Tickling – Part 1
laughing, exploring, sensitivity, sensitive, squirm, neck, toes, light touching, light touch, freeze, experiment, experimenting, nose, nook and cranny, nails, skin on skin, fingernails, ribs, side, stomach, anticipation, scratching, navel, belly button

Introduction to Tickling – Part 2
hips, hip pocket, hip pockets, breasts, breast, boobs, boob, tits, skin, erogenous zone, best place to tickle, exploration, laughing, exploring, sensitivity, sensitive, sensitivity testing, squirm, female anatomy, legs, long legs, leg, long leg, ankle, ankles, circular motion, butt, buttocks, ass, thigh, back of leg, back of thigh, behind the knee, back of the knee, stretch, vulnerable, feet, tops of feet, feather, finger, fingers, toe curl, curling toes, curled toes, ticklish spots, behind the ears, ears, neck, nipple, nipples, stomach, ribs, side, navel, belly button, nooks and crannies, nook and cranny, calves, calf

Finger Tickling
finger, fingers, finger tips, squeezing, squeeze, one finger, multiple fingers, play, dig, digging, games, psychological bondage, rib bones, between rib bones, base of spine, wiggle, wiggling, knee, side of knee, finger nails, kneecap, sensitivity, sensitive, stomach, tickle workout, surprise, surprises, surprising, using your body for bondage, knuckles, hips, hip pocket, hip pockets, sensitivity, sensitive, sensitivity testing, squirm, wrestling holds

Face Slapping

edge play, taboo, intimate, intense, face, face slap, face slapping,  dominance, submission, power, fingers, punishment, hand, sensual sadistic, hit, strike, pimp slap, five fingers, slapper, backhand, ouch,corporal punishment, safety

Face Slapping Sensations and Motivations
versatility, classic punishment, verbal humiliation, emphasize point, emphasis, intimacy, power, intensity, vulnerable, vulnerability, shock, anger, humiliation, power, personal power, power exchange, psychological, physical, personal, intimate, mind fuck, slapping, punching, stinging, dizzy, dizziness, whiplash, tingling, eye-watering, emotions, degraded, degradation, preparation, how to gauge power, how to gauge force, extended face slapping, empowering, empowerment, adrenaline, eye contact, discuss, discussion, happy slapping, negotiate, negotiation, communication, corporal punishment, safety

Face Slapping Safety
discuss, discussion, negotiate, negotiation, communication, remove jewelry, no jewelry, flat hands, open hands, slapping, not punching, flexible, backhand, fingers, cheek, where to slap, face, steady, aiming, boxing ears, focused aim, focused motion, palm slapping, jaw, lockjaw, tmj, TMJ, support, neck injury, jaw injury, eye injury, ear injury, anger, control, out of control, flinch, flinching, practice, avoid flinching, hurt, communicating, fingernails, hand placement, firm but flexible, emergency, concussion,corporal punishment, safety,

Face Slapping Techniques and Positions
flat hands, open hands, slapping, firm slap, firm slapping, flexible, backhand, fingers, cheek, where to slap, face, steady, steady aim, aiming, focused aim, focused motion, support, prevent flinching, hand placement, firm but flexible, corporal punishment, cheek, cheeks, balance, imbalance, squish, slap-squish, intimate, body contact, eye contact, wall position, leg squeeze, safety,

Safe Sex

glove, rubber, protection, std, Trojan, pregnancy, birth control, jimmy, jimmy hat, johnny, contraceptive, prophylactic, aids, rain, coat, latex, bareback, magnum, semen, safe, jizz, safe sex, love glove, dental dam

All About Condoms
Latex, polyurethane, lambskin, sheepskin, durex, Trojan, flavored,  colored, wear a condom, put on a condom, black condoms, anal play, oral play, expense, feelings, masturbation, myth, myths, thin condom, lubricated condoms, ejaculation, semen, reservoir tip, pleasure, apply condom, pubic hair, condom removal, condom dismount, where to put used condoms, used condoms

Condom Usage
Put on condom with your mouth, put on condom with mouth, how to apply a condom with your mouth, right direction to roll a condom, lips, what destroys condoms, how to store condoms, condom storage, expiration date, when to check the expiration date, squeeze test, how to carry a condom, condom carrier


tie up, bind, bound, restraint, restrain, gimp, slave, femdom, domme, sub, submission, b&d, humiliation, masochism, sadist, sado-masochism, discipline, cuffing

decoration, bondage, lark’s head, lark’s head knot, rope skirt, suspension, hip, hips, leg, legs, waist, alternating lark’s head, larks head, larkshead, weight distribution, garter belt, symmetry, function, aesthetic, decorative,

foot, feet, slam, jumping, bounce, heels, high, stomping, podofilia, trample, step on, stand on,

S&M 24/7
power, power dynamics, SM, S&M, dominance, submission, dominate, submit, dominant, submissive, RT, real time, roles, partnership, relationship, full time, 24/7, lifestyle, life style

Power Dynamics
Domme, Dom, Dominant, Dominate, FemmeDomme, submissive, sub, submit, sub space, switch, slave, servant, contract, D&s, D/s, top, bottom, domination, erotic power, power exchange

dildo, butt plug, vibrator, sex, toy, steel, njoy, lube,

hand job
hand job, handjob, jacking off, beat off, manual sex, jack it, wack, masturbate,

Blow Job,
blowjob, blow job, blowjobs, blow jobs, felaltio, oral sex, fellatio, sucking, suck, lick, licking, hummer, bj, head

Anal play
rim job, butt fuck, sodomy, rectum,
anal, anus, anal sex, ass, ass sex, prostrate, stimulation, ass play, prostate massage

hanging, rigging, secure, tight, hemp, nylon, climbing, frame, swing, suspend, chain, shibari, knot, mfp, jute

rope bondage
hanging, rigging, secure, tight, hemp, nylon, climbing, frame, swing, suspend, chain, shibari, knot, mfp, jute, restraint, bondage, tie up, bind, bound, restraint, restrain

storing rope
organizing toys, organization

piss play, watersports, water sports, urine,

Flogging techniques
flogger, flogging, floggers, impact play, techniques, technique

do it yourself, do-it-yourself, DIY, make it yourself, kinky crafts, crafting, hand made

Long distance,
long distance relationship, online romance, long-distance,

Female Anatomy
pussy, vagina, vag, vulva, muff, cooter, poon, coochie, labia, clitoris, snatch, twat, g-spot, g spot,
twat, vag, box, muff, gash, beaver, snatch, clit, hole, minge, crotch,
internal, external, clit

Male Anatomy

penis, dick, cock, balls, scrotum, dong, schlong, boner, wiener, prick, wanker, willy, Johnston, ass, rectum, prostate, anal, anus, anal sex, ass, ass sex, p spot, p-spot,

Dragon Tail
whip, whiplike, punishment, dragontail, dragon-tail, dragon tail, rat tail, leather, impact, impact play, sadism, sadistic, pain

Fire Play
alcohol, fire, setting someone on fire, pyro, pyromaniac, pyrophilia, flame, flash, fire cups, flash paper, flash cotton, edge play, fireplay, fire play safety

nipple, breast, breasts, NT, nipple torture, clamps, clips, pinch, clothespins, nipple play, tits, zipper,boobs,

nipples torture
nipple, breast, breasts, NT, nipple torture, clamps, clips, pinch, clothespins, nipple play, tits, boobs, forceps, clover clamps, chopsticks, alligator clamps

cuddles, cuddle, cuddling, holding, connection, heal, warm, caress, after care, gentle, kisses, checking in

Sissy Training
sissy, sissify, sissification, sissy training, train my sissy, role-play, roleplay, role play, submissive, submission, sissy maid, sissymaid, sissy maid training, housekeeping, protocol, service, forced feminization, feminization

spank, spanking, spankee, spanko, smack, hit, punishment, corporal punishment, OTK, hand, paddle,

Ass, butt, buttocks, bum, dominant, top, bottom, submissive, bruising, anatomy, communication, vital organs, places to spank, places not to spank, ass-spanking

Electrical Play
TENS unit, violet wand, electro, electrosex, e-stim, estim, powerbox, power box, zap, shock, electrify, spark, AC, electrode,

New to the scene
new, newbies, new to the scene, newcomer, ettiquette

Submissive safety call

Enema Play
ass, anal, butt, liquid, cleaning, rim job, hygiene, anal sex preparation

Medical Play
needles, speculum, catheter, catheter, wartenberg wheel, medical role play, sounding, sounds, enema, enema bag, forceps, forcep, rubber gloves, examination, instruments, syringe,

kiss, kissing, making out, mouth, lips, snogging, french, macking, necking, sucking face, hickey, smooch, first base, tonsil hockey, foreplay, fore play, intimacy, intimate, sensual

Oral sex
lick, tongue, suck, mouth, head, bj, 69, eating out, fellatio, deep throating, gagging, cunnilingus

session, playtime, play time, play-time, set the mood, candles, music, safe word

multiple partners, relationships, relationship, swinging, swingers, poly, polygamy, polyandry, wife swapping, loves, menage trois, husband swapping, polyfilial, open relationship, leather household, inclusive relatnship, inclusive relatnship, multipartner relationship,

binder, waist cincher, corsets, underbust, boning, victorian, steam punk, tight lacing, waist training, goth, steel, girdle, bodice, busk, garter, cinching

Sexual Orientation
gay, straight, queer, bisexual, bi, homosexual, heterosexual, het, hetero, homo, pansexual, omnisexual, gender, boi, genderqueer, asexual, sexual identity,

strap on, strap-on, strapon, strapons, strap-ons, strap ons, dildo, harness, pegging, peg, sex, toys, ass sex, anal sex, Cock, dick, fuck, fucking, stamina,

Rubber, rubberwear, latex, latex clothing, fashion, clothes, silicone, shiner, shiny, shine, second skin, texture, fetish wear, slick, fitted, hood, mask,

submissive training
training, protocol, slave training,

Sex Ed
sexual education, sex ed, information, informative

degradation, degrade, humiliation, humiliate, tease, torment, embarrassed, mock, make fun of, abuse, verbal abuse, dishonor,

fat, big-boned, chubby, feeder, feederism, BBW,  big beautiful woman, fat pride, big beautiful women, fatism, sizism, big, fat lover

Impact play
dragontail, dragon tail, quirt, quirk, sting, thud, lash, welt, restrained, struck, flagellation, wrapping, Florentine, single tail, cane, paddle, fist, crop, corporal punishment, spanking, percussion play, bruising, marks, making bruises that last

Pony Play
animal play, animal, pet play, ponies, pony, pony play, pony boy, pony girl, pony training, human pony, tack, gait, grooming, riding, car, saddle, trainer, show pony, show ponies, equestrian, hoof boots, harness, bit, bridle, exhibition, tail, trot, canter, gallop, dressage

flogger, flogging, flog, impact play, corporal punishment

Force Feminization
ladyboy, sissy, cross dressing, sissification, feminine, age play, servitude, maid, school girl, secretary, locking, heels, dresses, naming, name change,

dream, secret, role play, surprise, thoughts,suspension of reality

Name calling
slut, whore, pig, tramp, bitch, insult, humiliation, nick name, pet name, words,

Foot fetish
high heels, foot, feet, socks, stockings, stinky, boots, sucking, licking, worship, socks, boots, shrimping,

Hair play
brushing, pulling, taken from behind, tug, handle bars, pig tails, school girl, care, exerting physical control

Breath Play
asphyxiation, breath control, gas mask, rebreather bag, suffocation, Breathe, breath, hold your breath, suffocate, plastic bag, pillow, mask, hood, hand over mouth,
, scarfing, erotic,

Rape Play
surprise sex, rape, rape play, rapeplay, consensual non-consent, forced, pretend resisting, role play, age play, ravishment, captivity

Surprise Sex
Rape, kidnap, intense, intensity, interrogation, emotional, emotion, unexpected, forceful, violent, safe words, safe word, safe, application, interrogate, bondage, consent, written consent, aftercare, past experiences, victim

Blood Play
vampire, vampyre, vampirism, vampyrism, cutting, needles, phlebotomy, drinking blood, blood fetish, blood sports, abrasion, scratching, piercing, temporary piercings, piercings, edge play, fear play, endorphins, scarfication, gauge

Sensational Play
sensual, touch, ice cubes, ice cube, wax play, physical, light, endorphins, flying, sensory, deprivation, mummification, tiger balm, breath mints, wintergreen, spearmint, peppermint, figging

Genital Torture
CBT, cock and ball torture, cunt torture, ball crusher, ball stretching, cock ring, cock rings, ball stretcher, ball stretchers, genital torture, torture, ball bust, scrotum, urethral, testicles, humbler, cock cage, cages, weights

belt, withheld, privilege, prevent, surrender,  control, custom, bespoke, cage, padlocks,
dominance, submission, orgasm, submit, training, lock, abstinance, tease and denial, celibacy, celibate

sploshing, Sitophilia, fruits, vegetables, meat, penetration, phallic, messy, Vore, food play, WAM, wet,

manners, educate, etiquette, behavior, rules,
Service, servitude, discipline, punishment, training, dominance, submission, submissive, dominant, dominate, submit, tone of voice, presentation, service oriented, respect

Stretch, stretching, healthy body, preparation, positions, anatomy, movement, muscles, strength, health, fitness, workout

exercise, workout, work out, health, fitness, movement, muscles, strength,


Age Plat Intro
naughty cheerleader, role playing, role play, little girl, ageplay, child play, fulfilling emotional needs, deeper, emotional, caregiver, care giver, emotional fulfillment, ageplayer, age player, letting go, forgetting stress, giving up control, sexual taboos, teacher and student, little, littles, big, daddy, mommy


NCSF Launches New Consent Guides and Consent Survey Results

The Consent Survey results are in

The NCSF conducted an exploratory Consent Survey to find out what kinky people think about consent in a BDSM context. With over 4,000 responses on all of the questions, the survey returned useful information on power exchange relationships, the concept of risk, and respondents’ attitudes about consent that went into the formation of NCSF’s draft Consent Statement, which will be launched on February 8, 2013.

Click to see the RESULTS

In the survey, NCSF found that 1 in 3 kinky people had their pre-negotiated limits violated and/or their safeword ignored. This typically occurs in the first 5 years that someone gets involved in the scene. This result shows there is a real need for more education about consent violations and how to keep them from happening.

“We need to educate new members of the kink communities much better because they are the ones experiencing consent violations,” says Race Bannon, Social Media Director for NCSF. “We also need to educate law enforcement on how to distinguish BDSM from assault because 1 in 5 people know someone in their local area who was arrested for BDSM-related behavior.”

To respond to this need, and to requests from groups and events for guidance on consent issues, NCSF has launched its Guide for Groups. The Guide for Groups includes a suggested consent policy, how to deal with consent violations that take place at a group or event, and advice on how to revoke membership or entry to an event without liability.

NCSF also created two new FAQs designed to educate kinky people on what is assault and what to do if you are assaulted. Is This Assault? explains which consent violations may rise to the level of assault, while Dealing With Assault answers many of the common questions kinky survivors have about reporting assault to law enforcement, medical or social service professionals.

Under NCSF’s Consent Counts Project, you can also find hotlines for kink aware victim services associated with the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Projects that are ready to help kinky victims of assault and abuse. And there is a wallet-card that explains BDSM vs. Abuse in terms of consent to help you explain BDSM to law enforcement and social services.

NCSF is committed to working with the BDSM-Leather-Fetish communities on a wide range of issues dealing with consent through its Consent Counts Project with the long-term goal to decriminalize BDSM.

Quick Links…

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Contact Information
phone: 410-539-4824


Equal Education, Equal Pay: Closing the Gender Wage Gap

This infographic was originally posted here and is re-posted with permission




Services Rendered: Fair Compensation for Educators

By Sarah Sloane

New educators, there is one simple fact that I want – nay, I NEED you to understand: nobody gets rich from teaching about sex and kink. Even the most successful sex educators in the US aren’t what most of us would call “wealthy”, and the great majority of us – even those that do this on a full time basis – aren’t making a substantial income out of our teaching & writing. Sex education is not something that is culturally valued in our society, and without that cultural sense of importance we will likely find that most organizations & stores will be unable to pay us what they (and we!) wish they could.

Now that my pessimism has been aired, let me tell you what’s important to understand: as an educator, your business sanity will become contingent on your ability to balance your own desires and needs with the ability of the group that you’re teaching for to compensate you. Yes, we’d all love to get paid hundreds of dollars for every class we teach; and yes, we’d all love to be given a room in a five-star hotel and unlimited room service at the events we attend…but those are highly unlikely.

Novice educators – you will have to pay some dues. Until you have a proven track record of classes on your CV, understand that, for many groups, you are a genuine risk to bring in. The more prestigious the organization that is inviting you to speak, the more that they have to lose if you do a poor job – and that can be anything from speaking offensively to giving unsafe information. What this means financially is that our initial forays into presenting may require us to pay our own way to and from the event, cover our expenses, and occasionally even be asked to pay for our own registration in full. Is this bad? It depends on your outlook. If you see it as an investment in building your resume, it may be a perfectly acceptable (and perhaps even desirable) situation that you’ll want to take advantage of. However, if money and time are a challenge and the benefits don’t outweigh the expense, it’s likely to not be worth it to you – and if you opt to do it, you’ll need to check your resentments about the terms at the door before you walk in, or else you can be assured that you won’t be invited back.

That does not, however, let the organization off the hook for being respectful. Even if you’ve never presented before, your time and energy are valuable, and acknowledgement of that is an (unfortunately) unspoken part of the exchange. Some organizations who are financially poor will write you a thank you card, or bring cookies; I’ve had groups surprise me with a gift of some lovely yarn (I’m a notorious knitter), a bag of healthy snacks and bottled water to keep me going, or even passing the hat at the end of the meeting to help me cover my transportation costs. And honestly? The groups that go to that extent of trying to say thank you in meaningful ways are the ones that most educators clamor to teach at, because they know that their work is both welcome and appreciated.

When you approach (or are approached by) a group or event, make sure that you know what you need to get in order to feel good about the agreement, and be ready to state it clearly.

Once the group says “Yes, we’d like to bring you in”, it’s time to have the conversation – and I suggest you have it in writing, and that you follow up with a final agreement email. You’ll want to make sure that your responsibilities are detailed – the number of classes you’ll teach, when you will arrive & depart, what you will bring with you (handouts, resources, assistants, etc), and any other tasks or appearances that you’ve been asked to fulfill. You will also want to detail what the event is offering you in compensation – registration, hotel, expenses, pick up & drop off at the airport, meals, etc. The more clearly that you can list these and ensure agreement, the easier (and friendlier) that both you and the organization will be able to communicate prior to and during the event, and the happier everyone will be about the experience.

The goal of the business side of the negotiations is twofold: it’s to make sure that everyone’s expectations are managed – which avoids unnecessary confusion and drama – and to make sure that a good relationship can be built between the educator and their community. When that’s taken care of, the end result is an event that is a pleasure to teach at, and invitations to do so again in the future – which makes everyone happy!


Why do condoms get a bad wrap?

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I am not sure if this should be posted as a forum topic or an article in it’s own right.  In any case, I am writing this here because I seek more opinions on the topic and would love some insight and constructive criticism from the sex community….

A reoccurring issue for me and my colleagues is the negativity towards condoms and what to do about it.  When I talk to people about condom use, and particularly during discussions about contraceptive choices, I usually hear negative claims like: ““It keeps my partner and me from getting close”, “…It’s unnatural”, “…a mood killer”, “I can’t feel anything with a condom on”, “it hurts”.  These account do not come from a particular cohort.  From my experience, negativity towards condoms spans across age brackets, genders, and sexualities.

Alternatively, I know plenty of individuals and couples whose only form of contraceptive and STI protection is the condom.  Overall, these are healthy, happy sexual beings and there are many reasons the condom is primary choice.  It may be because it is the most effective and reliable non-hormonal contraceptive, or because it is the less-expensive, less fuss, institution-free choice, or because it feels good when you know you’re taking care of yourself and others.  Overall they choose the condom because it suits them best for their circumstances compared to what else is available on the safer sex market.

It is no surprise that there are conflicting views about how the condom influences sexual pleasure.  Sexual “zest” is something that changes and is contextual, specific to each individual and relationship, personal histories and places.  So there are some major challenges in attempting to empirically measure the source of sexual dissatisfaction.  But I wonder if it’s fair to say that negative attitudes towards condoms are far more prevalent than positive ones in North American culture.  After all, rarely do I hear “Condoms make me horny!” or “I love using condoms!”  And rarely does one witness positive representations of condoms in popular how-to magazines or in mainstream porn.

To what extent do negative views towards condoms reflect problems with the technology?  When someone says, “I can’t get off on condoms”, is this a symptom of condoms in general, or the individual not knowing how to find the right condom, how it should fit, what lubes to use, or how to use it well?

From our peer-reviewed literature review, we found that attitudes greatly influence one’s experience with condoms.  I go into more detail about our research findings here on our website.  Basically, those who complain about condoms tend to be people who have little-to-no experience using them.  While many people do report that unprotected sex feels better than protected sex, in general, people who use condoms frequently and are confident about how to use them well tend to experience greater satisfaction then those who do not use condoms.  This implies, of course, that there is far more to sexual pleasure that cannot simply be reduced to basic physics of vaginal/penile sensation.

How then, do we improve the reputation of condoms?  Perhaps it’s a matter of changing the discourse on condoms and how to use them properly- and young sex education is a key spot.  When discussing condom use, for instance, there could be more emphasized about the different types of condoms that are available to suit different sizes and preferences, and how to navigate those options.  There can also never be enough emphasis on the importance of lube and the best ways to use them.  Also, tips on how to put a condom on in sexy, more fun ways- such as the partner putting it on for you- are important steps to curing condoms woes.

What do you think?  Are negative views towards condoms a product of a greater stigma in our culture?  What should be done to alleviate misunderstandings and negative beliefs?


First international Sex Coaching survey conducted by Sex Coach U

We have the rare privilege to produce a peer-reviewed article for an esteemed journal in our field on the topic of SEX COACHING. With such a broad scope, we thought it would be insightful and impactful to conduct a brief survey among those who self identify as a “sex coach” and to ask a few detailed questions (34).

Please help us to substantiate our approaches, differentiate our uniqueness, and to celebrate this new form of sexuality education/counseling/coaching for clients around the world. If you would like to talk to us personally, our emails and phone numbers are below to set up a Skype or phone call.

Click here to go to the survey!


Independent Porn Producers

There’s a wide variety of niche porn sites run by passionate indie/alt pornography, here are a few…

Courtney Trouble  creates her own porn, plus is a founder of/producer of

Madison Young also creates her own porn and founded Feminist Porn Network and

Tristan Taormino has been one of the most successful to cross over to corporate funded porn and she has a great ‘Feminist Porn Resource’ page.

Kelly Shibari launched the one-of-a-kind BBW BDSM site

Alice In Bondageland creates fantastic BDSM porn that’s real in every sense of the term.

Princess Kali has had her personal FemDomme website up for almost 10 years & co-founded

Buck Angel is an independent FTM porn producer is a way for anyone to submit, and be paid for nude photos of themselves

Good For Her has been running the Feminist Porn Awards since 2006 which is a great way to find ethical, female friendly porn

James Darling has created “featuring gay porn, straight porn, and queer porn starring trans* men”

Long-time site features hundreds (perhaps thousands?!) of self-produced clips by independent porn producers


Here’s a good article about “The Rise of Alt-Porn”


This is just the start to the list! Please make comments and add your own favorite independent porn producers!


Kink Academys “Support a Sex Educator Program”

As part of their ongoing mission to treat sexuality educators as the knowledgeable professionals they are, Kink Academy is launching the Support a Sex Educator Program. This program will work to raise funds for a variety of projects related to and initiated by sexuality educators.

Currently, their first project to start raising funds for is the Support a Sex Educator Travel Grant, which will help educators get to far-off events so that they can network and broaden the scope of their work.

It’s a sad fact that a lot of sexuality educators don’t get the monetary recognition they deserve for the workshops, classes and lectures. Kink Academy hopes to raise the bar for these hardworking professionals!

How You Can Help
There are several ways you can contribute to the Support a Sex Educator program.

Kink Academy actively hosts live events, all of which will feature a fundraising aspect to benefit this cause. They can always use helping hands. If you see that they’re hosting an event in your area, and would like to help, contact Kali at

Show Your Support:
Kink Academy is offering purple Support a Sex Educator bracelets, and 100% of the proceeds of bracelet sales go into the Support a Sex Educator program. Even for a contribution of $1, you will receive a bracelet and be able to literally wear your support on your sleeve. Bracelets are available at Kink Academy Live events, or can be purchased with any Crystal Delights order. 100% of all proceeds from bracelet purchases on the Crystal Delights site are donated to the “Support a Sex Educator Program.”