SSSS Student and Early Professional Ambassador Program

np-col-14The SSSS Student and Early Professional Ambassador Program was developed to recognize future leaders and support the work of students/early professionals. The program hopes to promote professional development by providing learning experiences, mentoring, and advice through active participation in the Society.
During the annual conference, the Ambassador Program provides opportunities for students or early professionals to assist with moderating sessions; welcome new and returning members and attendees; give directions and provide general information; help with registration and events; and provide general support to meeting staff.  In exchange, Ambassadors can earn partial meeting registration reimbursement, develop relationships with established and senior members, engage in networking opportunities, and receive recognition in the program. SSSS also asks the Ambassadors to volunteer/work as a representative of the organization throughout the year.
Ambassadors who go above and beyond in their service to the organization will also be considered for the “Outstanding SSSS Student Ambassador” award (if a student) or the “Outstanding SSSS Early Professional Service” award (if an early professional). Winners will be recognized during the Awards Ceremony and receive a free one-year membership in The Society!
Interested in being a SSSS Ambassador? Apply HERE before September 21st! 

Write for Dominant Guide

Thanks for your interest in writing a guest post for Dominant Guide.

We’re really looking for guest posts that present new ideas, fresh perspectives, and innovative approaches. We like to present readers with ideas that we haven’t seen elsewhere online.

We’re not able to use everything that’s submitted.  We may decline to use your post because of its quality, the relevance of your topic, because we have more posts than we can use, or because we’ve published a number of posts on the topic recently. We may also decline to use your post if it covers information we’ve already covered on the site.

Please note that it can take up to 10 days for us to review your submission. Please do not send us “reminder” emails within this time—they won’t help us get to your submission any faster.

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Leather Leadership Conference – Faces of Freedom – April 11-13, 2014 Philidelphia

philly LLCInterested in Teaching Tomorrows Leaders?

 Submissions for presentations will be accepted until September 1st, 2013. The programming committee will be reviewing proposals and responding by November 15, 2013 (at the very latest, we expect to have the program completed sooner).

Genderfree Female – No, I’m not the girl in our relationship.

Gender People without gender are largely an overlooked group even within the transgender community. And anyone who is not cisgender tends to run into expectations to be so… and then on top of that, cisgender and transgender people tend to be expected to fall into stereotyped gender/sex roles.

So what to do when you’re a genderfree female, especially in a heterosexual relationship where you’re default not just by body but by partnership assumed to be “the girl”?

Not just the outside world can have a difficult time with this concept, even our own partners. Add on top of that that many of us do “do” feminine at times or all the time. Then add on top of that that many of us are perfectly comfortable being in a female body. Not on the binary, no gender at all, feminine at times, transgender and fine being female. It can make for confusion in those that live with and love us.

Partners often at first and even down the road can be unsure on how to address our bodies, sexually and non-sexually. If you’ve never been part of or heard a discussion on what people prefer their body parts like their genitals or breasts to be called or even if they want them acknowledged then you may not be familiar with this issue. But it’s there… When I’m speaking of my female partner’s body, what is the right word to use that will be fine by them but hopefully not confusing to others? During dirty talk is it okay to say things like “your pussy”?

Partners often don’t know how to address us as people… what pronouns, what references, to use in speaking with others. Is “she” okay? If not, what is? Do I refer to my genderfree lover as my girlfriend or wife, is that comfortable and/or appropriate? Again, if not, what is?

Partners often wonder why a female companion expresses not having a gender while dressed up to the stereotype of femininity: lacy undies, clinging dress, high heels, long and elegantly styled hair, the oh so carefully applied makeup. While presenting within more masculine expectations can also be confusing for them, the seemingly matched femininity and female body can raise a lot of questions.

That brings us then to the confusion that does also occur when a genderfree female partner presents as masculine part of or all of the time. “Are they actually female-to-male transexual?”. “Will they be mistaken for a lesbian?” (because, of course, there are stereotypes to sexualities, too).

Then throw in those who genderfuck on top of identifying with no gender and things get messier.

And how as a cisgender man do you approach sexually someone who isn’t a boy or girl or even any other gender identity? There are traits assigned to these regardless of whether they universally apply. Their are understood and culturally imbedded expectations in the mating ritual from first date to full on fucking. Do they want the door held for them, should I be the one pursuing… and heck, the occasional “am I gay or not?” because deep down they still expect a binary identification regardless of body sex.

Sex itself… Less of an issue if the male partner doesn’t have firm gender roles assigned to bedroom activities, but oh it can and does come up for some. We get back to the above of what phrases and labels are okay for body parts during dirty talk? And what about vulgar descriptions and nouns otherwise used at times during The Deed… would “dirty whore” or “cumdump bitch” be correct phrasing?

(Let’s put aside for the moment whether or not these types of phrases would be acceptable for cisgender females, either. They’re just used here as examples of some very pointed ones ones out there in some people’s sex lives.)

Will my partner want to fuck me with a strap-on, since they don’t identify as female?” – again, that binary sexual stereotyping.

Would it be offensive to buy my lover obviously gender-oriented gifts or sex toys or lingerie?”

And endless other wonderings and questions that can’t all be touched on here and are also beyond my ability to think up there are so many.

The simultaneously unfortunate and fortunate answer to dealing with all of this is that one needs to take the time to talk to one’s partner. Learn what an absence of gender means to them, personally, and how it relates to their connection with their body. Have those detailed and in-depth discussions about sexual expectations and comfort-zones. Find out what makes them happy and acknowledged in how others are led to view them in your relationship. While, of course, they should be finding out all the same about you.

I’ve spoken from a heterosexual angle with a cisgender male lover referenced in this all, but only because I wanted to address the issues related to that specific arrangement. There are countless others and this is just one, I addressed it as it is the most common one I personally run into with myself being a genderfree female.


Northampton Sex Therapy Associates is looking for a full-time sex therapy associate

now hiringNorthampton Sex Therapy Associates (NSTA) is looking for a full-time sex therapy associate, to work in a busy private group practice. Applicants must hold a mental health license in the state of Massachusetts and be able to demonstrate at least five years post-licensure clinical experience.  In addition, a background and/or demonstrated interest in human sexuality is required. Applicants will be expected to work three evenings each week and one weekend day. 

Please note:  Substantial training will be provided for the right candidate.


Applicants must possess the following: 

**  Be licensed in Massachusetts as a Ph.D., Psy.D., LMHC, LMFT or LICSW 


**  Give evidence of/or be willing to undergo substantial couples therapy training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy, Schnarch Crucible Model in Sex Therapy and Dr. Sue Johnson’s Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples


**  Be used to working with a range of sexuality issues, and be familiar with – or willing to train in -treatment protocols for ED, PE, DE and men and women’s sexual health and sexual pain disorders


**  GLBTI friendly, aware and welcoming

**  Be willing to sign a non-compete for personal private practice in couples and sex therapy within a 50 mile radius of NSTA


 Benefits to working with Northampton Sex Therapy Associates:

Competitive reimbursement rates
Paid AASECT Membership
Weekly supervision by certified sex therapist counting towards certification as a board-certified Sex Therapist
$500 annual training stipend
Beautiful newly-renovated space

Collegial, friendly working environment

Collaborative practice with training overlap between Northampton Center for Couples Therapy and Northampton Sex Therapy Associates

If you are interested, please send a cover letter and your resume to Jassy Timberlake at the address below:


Northampton Sex Therapy Associates
Director – Jassy Timberlake, M.Ed., LMFT, AASECT
40 Main Street, Suite 206
Florence, MA 01062
Tel:   413-587-0095

Sex and Relationship Therapy at

New Members

Introduction: Sharps, Relationships, Enthusiasm

rumpusRP is an experienced and knowledgeable sharps player focusing on needle and cutting play, both permanent or temporary in either.  Being a genderfree female lifestyle dominant and starting early they have over 18 years of engaging in and enjoying sex, BDSM, and Female Led Relationships.  Passionate about body and sex positivity, feminism, and LGBTQ rights, Rumpus tries to do what they can to promote all of those things.

They’ve also been a sex-worker of various types over the last couple decades, fading in and out of the practice.  Rumpus has done a small amount of BDSM porn, selling of fetish items, doing audio and video clips, being a cam girl, fetish modeling, and working as an online, phone, and in-person professional dominant.