Quick Way to Recognize a Lame Dom
Shady people are shady from beginning to end
The best and most accurate way to know the character of a man, a Dom, a Daddy or a Master is by looking at his “house”, his family, his chargers, his subs, his women, his baby-girls or his wife. By observation of their actions, behaviors, and how well they represent — which in turn also shows how well they are taken care of and supported in all their needs by their Dom/leader. If they are sloppy, out-of-pocket, nondescript, and less into KINK, BDSM. They are much less into lifestyle dynamics, traditions or protocols… and more into KINKY fucking. His House/Leather family is unpolished, non-cohesive, and full of drama. 10-10 he is less than worthy of anyone more.
Now here is the trick, if you think you are not worth more [be honest with yourself], or if you feel this is the type of situation best for who you are — or where you are today — than by all means, take up with this Dom — because you and he are basically in the same category or level — and you will get exactly what you were looking for…maybe more…hell who knows…
For those who know from the gate they are worth ten times more; and need the fulfillment of the real deal which comprises, honesty, respect, loyalty, consistency, communication, dedication, total power exchange, trust, domination and submission, and obligation from all. Then continue to read on. This will help you discern who and where not to venture.
This type of so-called Dom, part time Dom, quasi-Dom, predatory Dom — isn’t confident enough to attract beautiful women; strong enough to desire classy intelligent women, educated or experienced in lifestyle protocols, honorifics, or relational structures of BDSM — he is not disciplined enough to hold himself or his s-types or women accountable. He does not understand his authority to require they maintain his house, he is not influential enough to keep them in line to their duties, nor is he an honorable man, let alone Dom, to stand to his declarations and responsibilities. He does not comprehend leadership or dominance to warrant service, submission, or obedience.
Hence, his House, or leather family, or s-types are usually, lame in their efforts, most likely average at best, and they generally try too hard for outside attention. They are usually full of drama in-house and in public, and thrive off game. His s-types or women have no idea how to maintain themselves in high regard, maintain a House; cook, clean, organize, harmonize, serve his needs, develop their own potential, or integrate a family.
For this LAME DOM doesn’t really teach or instruct, or demand. He simply gets what he can; accepts that, and expects less of himself, and those in his care. He doesn’t use his influence as a means of enrichment for his House; but as a tool of domineering; which makes sense cuz’ he isn’t in Domination of anything; he is only domineering. He has little experience in the lifestyle. The one who loses most in the situation is the submissive; s-type; the charge and the ones who serve him.
The reason is due to the lack of training, the lack of expectations and the lack of knowledge they fail to receive. They are not being nurtured and supported and guided to the best of their potential. This type of so-called Dom is content with mostly the sexual aspects, the sexual servitude or submission, and the facade of his authority. He is not competent to provide more nor does he think he needs to provide more. His standards match his rewards and his deliverance equals his goal. You are his end game; not his possession.
He can not Dominate, Master or lead you in the realms of BDSM — for he is not generally in a established or stable place in life to do for himself let alone. The elements of duty, ownership escape him — he doesn’t realize in order to own something you must first be in a position to afford it. And this applies in all areas; mental, emotional, physical, spiritual and yes — financial. This is not to say he should be Bill Gates yet he should be able to offer you an exchange for your service.
In the end, again you as the submissive or charge lose out. Ultimately what you have here is a weak man; a a lame Dom; a weak Dom who has no leadership or direction to sustain a House or family — he is content with his dick-game [if you are so lucky he possesses such], and his direction and protection is just as shaky as his shady ways. If this type of man/Dom sounds familiar, get out now, he is a waste of time. Keep in mind, tho, if you and he are on the same accord, then perhaps it’s best you do the math, and get in where you fit in. Hopefully, you aspire to more, but only you know the depth and integrity you hold. It is not for anyone to judge; this is merely for those who aspire and desire a foundational Domination-Submission [D/s] or Master-Slave [M/s] or to be held in any form of BDSM dynamic or Polyamorous relationship with fortitude. it is intended to address those who know kinky sex can be had in “vanilla” world; and they require more.
To continue, this type of low-level or so-called Dom’s house is always in some type of turmoil, usually involved in sideways drama; he is not honest with everyone on who is dealing with, or his family is always in conflict with one another. Yes BDSM dynamics and or Polyamorous relationships take work and are not without conflict; the key here is the DOM, the leader should always control the environment; protect the sanctity of the House and hold everyone to their role. A true Dom will aspire for balance, and above all complete autonomy.
The lame Dom will not approach another Dom to ask permission before he pursues another mans charge — [let that be a major red flag]. He will be just in his honorifics. His charges are publicly loud-crass-ghetto-, out-of-pocket online or anywhere, or have been known to all be very lose with protocols, with their mouth when addressing other respected Doms, with their ass, or within their daily interactions with others — it never fails — because leadership starts from the TOP and if the TOP is not leadership worthy; all his subordinates will follow suit. They are usually the type of women or s-types who are always in the mix of social chaos, or focusing on other Houses issues, or putting themselves out in public view.
All proves, that 10-10, he has little to no control, and he is run by either, 1. pussy 2. his ego 3. his facade — all meaning the same thing, he is not much of a Dom, let alone a man or any of the other qualities mentioned above. He can not manage, lead or build a sound, constructive or productive House because he is not capable of such. He is fine with where he is, with who he is, and he is usually somewhere boasting how wonderful he is — I mean he has to keep up the game somehow — he is satisfied with his broken and usually sloppy unattractive women, and he is safe with what he can obtain. Why wouldn’t he be, he can do no better. He has no knowledge of role positions, or keeping those in his charge in their own lane…because honestly, he doesn’t know what lane everyone is in…for his only goal is 1. pussy 2. ego 3. facade.
He is not interested in taking anyone to the next level, or improving his legacy. He can reach no higher, and the legacy he leaves is similarly brokenhearted, misguided, weakened, and unfocused to the lifestyle. He was one of those dudes who figured I can have more than one woman…and I can have them all serve my needs and above all I can fuck them all. This is a perfect lifestyle for me. Yet he never invested time to understand the philosophy of BDSM or the construct of Domination and Submission. It was never a lifestyle he was interested in; it was his attempt to get all he could get. And so far he is winning at his game. Unless you who require more, or are new, novice, curious, and or uneducated to the real traditions, obligations and protocols of BDSM lifestyle or Polyamorous dynamics get hip quick and reach for something with more sustenance.
Now to the part where you need to check game. The best way to witness to make sure this post has some validity is to observe for a short period [it only takes a few days cuz usually when someone is not right, they all the way wrong, and it’s easy to spot — look for the ALL the keys above —
shady people are shady from beginning to end
A LAME Dom…is generally weak in his approach, too aggressive, and most times, his women will do the work for him. He is fast, too vague in his identity, and less concerned with regiments and more concerned with sexuality or what he can receive than what he offers. A real Dom steps to who he wants to pursue and sets the tone by speaking directly to you or those you are under. A real man/Dom will always have patience, show respect, present himself as a gentlemen regardless of his kinks or desires. A real Dom or Master has self-control, and has learned the skills of basic protocols and will expect you to adjust to his level. Whereas, this one will hide; he will lie, he will use manipulations, he will make mistakes, he will seem anxious, he will come on strong; and he will expect something for nothing. Ultimately, when he knows you are easy bait; he will do his best to win you to him.
Finally, the bottom line is to know where you are in this lifestyle; to discern if this is all you need in a Dom or d-type, and to place yourself in the direction and path of the type of Dom/man you need in order to provide the best service, and in order to submit to your highest potential. If you are indeed are in it for fun and games then go for it. If you eager to gain experience anyway you can, then go for it. Remember, laws of attraction apply in the BDSM population and it is best to represent yourself in the light of the type of Dom you expect. At the end of the day if you are satisfied with what you have; then live it. And for those who are not satisfied, and know there is more to this lifestyle than kinky sex; take heed and move on until you reach the pinnacle.
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